Day 5: Five Guilty Pleasures
1. Macaroni & cheese
I know, this might not seem like such a guilty pleasure. Except when you’re a mostly-macrobiotic like I am AND you’ve got lactose intolerance, that friendly little box of mac & powdered cheese turns into a powder keg. As in your innards want to leave you and your stupid decisions behind in the most direct way possible. Yeah. Boom.
Unfortunately, when I get food cravings, they come with full sensory input. I remember all too clearly that special neon-orange taste from Kraft back in the 80s. I remember the way the cheese perfectly coated each noodle with that satisfyingly thick spoon-stirring sound. I remember the warm cheese smell saturating the air. I’ve never found quite the same experience since.
Nowadays I eschew Kraft with its overloaded ingredients and reach for an organic brand. Back to Nature makes a good one that doesn’t seem to anger my innards too much.
I still shouldn’t have it. But I love it so, and one can always pop several lactase enzyme pills. Right?
2. Reading. Incessantly.
There’s a special silence that falls on you when you’re surrounded by books, especially in those amazing musty, dusty libraries and bookshops with the floor-to-ceiling wooden shelves. Only half-aware of such petty externals as heat, cold, footsteps and the voices of the people you came with, within seconds you’ve fallen into a trance, reaching out to feel the worn bindings and gilt-edged titles, losing yourself in chapter after chapter, pulling out book after book until you’re staggering under an armload of must-haves. It’s a tactile thing, it’s an emotional connection, it’s an I Can’t Live Without Books sticker stuck behind my eyeballs.
Books follow me home, and use my home to create more books. The shelves in my bookcases sag in the middle, they’re stacked three-deep, and you can’t even see part of the floor by my bed for the piles of books, big and small.
I can’t help it. I’m a reader. Losing copious amounts of time in a book is something I never regret. But I am at least cognizant that other things lapse while I’m busy not regretting.
We bought our own elliptical a few years ago, and it lives in our basement. My computer-with-the-music is also in the basement. And I like to sing. And if I can sing and still breathe while pounding away on the elliptical, that’s a great workout, right?
I used to be a “real” singer, by which I mean I was both part of a chorus and a solo artist, and won state competitions and all that. I even got recorded. Glory days! Nowadays I sing for myself, and while sometimes I think mixing the elliptical in is one of those diabolical matches made outside of heaven, especially if someone is trying to watch TV or sleep in any part of the rest of the house, I haven’t heard any complaints…
…and it’s gotten so I don’t even feel comfortable NOT singing while on that machine. Good times.
4. Lurking on TWOP.
Televisionwithoutpity.com is the place to go when you want a healthy dose of snark with your TV show. The best part about the snark is it’s well-written. They actually have grammar and spelling rules! They lambast people who start sentences with the condescending “Um…”! And by “they” I mean not only the awesome team of moderators but the community itself. Nobody wants TWOP to turn into an MTV message board.
So if you’re not a fan of illiteracy and ARE a fan of looking at your shows through a delightfully skewed eye, check it out. Remember, it doesn’t mean you don’t love the show and aren’t an avid fan-girl or boy. It just means you retain a grasp on reality.
5. Sub sandwiches.
I know, food made it to the list twice. That’s no accident. Neither is the fact that both items are non-macrobiotic. I just now got hit with a craving for a sub with salami and provolone and lettuce and salt & pepper and mayo and potato chips, preferably in the sandwich too. CRUNCH!
My lunch today has none of these things. It’s so healthy I could cry. There’s a Cousins across the street, a deli down the road, but…no. I will be strong. Ration myself. Think ahead 20 minutes to how my innards will feel after hoovering something like that up.
Though the cravings aren’t going away. I’d better go lose myself in some books.