Prompt: Friendship – What kind of a friend were you in 2011? What kind of a friend do you want to be in 2012?
My first thought: “How the hell should I know?”
A good man told me that the best answer to this kind of question is “Could’ve been better.” Now do I have the sense to leave it at that?
I know the kind of friend I hope I am. I hope I was there for my friends this year when they needed me. I hope I said the right things when I got there. I hope they felt it every single time I sent them positive vibes, good thoughts or general ass-kicking support.
I hope they know how much they mean to me.
2011 was knocked a bit sideways. I can’t look at this year without feeling that my eyes are clouded, that I’m seeing it through smoked glass, a picture fading to black and white. I know I did things. I know I had fun. I know there were some great months, and this month isn’t even over yet. But there were those other months too, weeks upon weeks overshadowed by the Crohn’s that laid Mr. HouseofBeck flat. That takes a toll. I think I became somewhat of a worried hermit, not going out much because he couldn’t and the thought of leaving him at home feeling dreadful and alone just fractured me.
I escaped where I could online and through books, and I know my friends helped me. But did I help them as much as I could?
I honestly don’t know if my thoughts translated to deeds in every case. I’m a little too exhausted to fathom 2012 right now. But I’m glad I’m here to see it, and at the very least I hope I continue to be a strong support for my friends when they need it–even before. Part of who I am is giving the love and support they need.
So come on, 2012. I’m ready!
Author Becky Benishek 
Here’s the thing about friends. Sometimes you are the care giver, and others you are the recipient. And then there are times you are one or the other and don’t get the chance to switch roles with that person…
Be the best friend you can be, and one way is to let your friends BE your friends.
Good post.
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Thank you, Mark. You’re right–we do have different roles with each other at different times. Ideally there’s a balance or a happy medium. I think I’d lost sight of that even just thinking about writing this post.
“One way is to let your friends BE your friends”–superb. Thanks again.
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I had a hard time with this one as well. Always hoping I am the friend I imagine but never really convincing myself. thanks for sharing this.
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Outside of the veil I seem to have dropped over much of this year, I keep looking as it the way it is when you first hear yourself on tape, and how it’s so different from the way you sound in your head. It can take some doing to accept it (at least it did for me).
From what I’ve read so far, both your posts and other people’s comments, you are the kind of friend people are lucky to have.
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