Prompt: Friendship – What kind of a friend were you in 2011? What kind of a friend do you want to be in 2012?
My first thought: “How the hell should I know?”
A good man told me that the best answer to this kind of question is “Could’ve been better.” Now do I have the sense to leave it at that?
I know the kind of friend I hope I am. I hope I was there for my friends this year when they needed me. I hope I said the right things when I got there. I hope they felt it every single time I sent them positive vibes, good thoughts or general ass-kicking support.
I hope they know how much they mean to me.
2011 was knocked a bit sideways. I can’t look at this year without feeling that my eyes are clouded, that I’m seeing it through smoked glass, a picture fading to black and white. I know I did things. I know I had fun. I know there were some great months, and this month isn’t even over yet. But there were those other months too, weeks upon weeks overshadowed by the Crohn’s that laid Mr. HouseofBeck flat. That takes a toll. I think I became somewhat of a worried hermit, not going out much because he couldn’t and the thought of leaving him at home feeling dreadful and alone just fractured me.
I escaped where I could online and through books, and I know my friends helped me. But did I help them as much as I could?
I honestly don’t know if my thoughts translated to deeds in every case. I’m a little too exhausted to fathom 2012 right now. But I’m glad I’m here to see it, and at the very least I hope I continue to be a strong support for my friends when they need it–even before. Part of who I am is giving the love and support they need.
So come on, 2012. I’m ready!