Not getting the attention you deserve on Facebook? Now you can make sure your Facebook posts are seen ad nauseum in your friends’ NewsFeeds!

For just $7, you can move your “important news, links and photos higher in news feed [sic].” Who’s to say what’s important? You do!

But beware: You and every other special snowflake will still be competing for the same space.

All major credit cards and PayPal accepted.

Note: Sarcasm aside, I can definitely see this feature being used by personal fan pages such as bands. Why not pay a little to make sure your next event is seen through all the noise on Facebook? Though we all should be getting the new Get Notifications feature at some point, so I don’t know if that will make this post promotion superfluous.